Long Suffering=Patience

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Friday morning started with Bible study. The guys have been in the book of Malachi for a few weeks now. I was able to jump right in though I missed all of this book until this morning.

Following the ever-annoying clicking of “end call,” I receive a message from our plumbing team that they have to reschedule today’s appointment. This leak has been around for quite some time, long enough for me to feel as if I’ve gotten to know the leak personally.

I’m slightly bummed after having to reschedule. I pick up my phone and begin scrolling the gram, always a good choice. How delightful, a father and daughter duo staged for a photo. Father appears natural in his habitat with a suppressed Mac 10 casually resting on the belt area of his pants. In front, his daughter. Young enough that her wrists are struggling to support the weight of the stock Glock 19s, she’s holding cross-armed like The Black Panther famous pose. Then the best part, the caption. The caption reads, “Do you think teaching kids to shoot guns makes them safer.”

I’ve trapped myself in this demonic screen before, but it’s rare. Here I come again for another round of self-inflicting pain. I respond by writing, “teaching kids to shoot guns can make them safer. However, this photo doesn’t scream safety for kids with guns.”

That was all it took. Maybe it wasn’t the source, but it was the point at which my anxiety came on heavy. Why did you comment? Is that even necessary? What makes your words so important? Why are you so selfish

What to do now. I had to get the dogs out for a walk before I move to my sling fitting appointment. My dirty Chevy Volt and I begin the 20min journey to Active Life. I proceed to break the law when I text my Wife that my anxiety is coming on super strong right now. 

The parking lot is packed, always annoying. The local church is prepping the small food pantry to begin receiving drive-up clients. The business complex I’m about to enter is littered with old people and face masks. Old people are okay; face masks bother the hell out of me. Thankfully, I keep an extra mask in the map compartment as I momentarily panic that I would have to ask for one.

I began walking to the door and had that moment where an elderly couple moved to the same point of entry but at a much slower pace. These two, who are likely in their 80s, consists of the husband pushing the wife in her wheelchair. I dawn my face mask as I reach the door and pause. In a matter of seconds, I process the sight I’m witnessing. A man, presumably a loving husband. Pushing his wife in her wheelchair, she must have an appointment. I picture the strength and bond of these two. I’m struck hard in this line of thinking as I’m incredibly distressed, and over what? I don’t know.  

He slows for a moment in his push walk motion. He’s attempting to discern what my move is as I’m stopped at the door, maybe 15ft in front of his wife’s propped feet. I open the door and hold it. What could have been no longer a thought for him. He knows what it is and says thank you. I respond emphatically, and you’re very welcome. I move to the side after they pass through and check my appointment notification to see which door holds my sling. 

Scrolling through emails and eventually my texts to find the reminder. In that time, the elderly couple had made it to their next-door but found themselves in the same predicament as the previous door. A young man and woman begin a hurried trot to assist. Another exchange of thanks is heard.

I move into my waiting room. The front desk attendant notifies me that I’m 30min early. Not a bad deal because I’m writing this as I sit in this empty waiting room. I have an intense urge to cry; I don’t. I can’t allow myself to cry in an empty waiting room. You can bank on it that I will get to the car following this appointment, take a second, and cry. I guarantee I’ll feel at peace at that moment.

Malachi 2:5-6 (NLT)

“The purpose of my covenant with the Levites was to bring life and peace, and that is what I gave them. This required reverence from them, and they greatly revered me and stood in awe of my name. They passed on to the people the truth of the instructions they received from me. They did not lie or cheat; they walked with me, living good and righteous lives, and they turned many from lives of sin.”

2 comments

  1. I have moments like this often. Although I dred the needed cry I usually feel much better after

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